Never Go to Bed Angry

I always thought the "never go to bed angry" advice was not for me. Often, I'll get annoyed at silly stuff, go to sleep, and wake up feeling sheepish for getting annoyed at something so silly. So, many times, it is beneficial for me to just never bring it up, to sleep on it, and get over it.

Last night, however, was not one of those nights.

This past month has been kind of crazy - work has been busy, I finished up my fashion degree, and Mr. has spent a lot of time on the road, traveling for residency interviews. When I'm stressed, I drop the details. I just do what needs to be done, and then just veg so I don't burn out. Of course, when I drop the details, Mr., being slightly OCPD, becomes more stressed. And when he becomes stressed, he snarks and nitpicks.

It got to the point where I was looking forward to him being on the road and dreading having to be in the same room with him. (And since we live in a studio, we're always in the same room if we're home.) Finally, last night, after a lovely evening with friends, Mr. made a comment that just irked me to no end; he was essentially bragging about the very character flaw that had been making me miserable the past couple weeks. I had been dozing off after a long day of traveling and really just wanted to sleep. But sensing my bad mood, Mr. coaxed the issue out of me, and we had a long talk about what wasn't working and how to move forward.

We now are keeping each other in check. I don't like my opinion to be discounted or ignored, but I recognize that I often commit one of Mr.'s pet peeves: I'll talk about topics I only know a little about. I know a little bit about a lot of topics; as Mr. put it, I know "just enough to be dangerous". What can I say? I like small talk. But I know Mr. is right in that it's dangerous for people who don't really know what they're talking about to act like they do. So, for him to help me correct that behavior without making me feel like a know-nothing idiot, he's going to use the code phrase, "we'll have to read more about it".

Similarly, I can't take the nit-picking. Any comment alone seems silly to complain about, but when that's all I'm hearing from my husband, it feels like rocks building up in my chest. It just drags me down and makes me not want to be around him. Naturally, Mr. doesn't want to hurt me or be a drag, so when he starts to do that, I'm now going to respond by saying "don't be a grump".

We didn't go to bed angry but rather with a renewed sense of marital bliss. We had our airing of grievances (it's a Festivus miracle!), and came up with productive actions to take in the future if necessary.

I guess sometimes it is best to not go to bed angry.


Meanwhile... 81 days until Match Day!

Informal Pre-Interview Social Event

Mr. has been on three residency interviews so far, but last night was the first pre-interview social event to which spouses were invited. Luckily it was nearby, so I was able to attend!

Here's my take:

What to wear
With orthopedic surgery, I've found that most of the social events are in private rooms at sports bars, dive bars and breweries. They're obviously pretty casual, but it's still part of an interview. Last night, most people were in jeans. I was in a jersey-knit modal wrap dress, tights, and stilettos. I'm happy with my choice. While I was dressier than almost everyone else, it was still a pretty casual dress. Plus, I'd rather err on the side of over-dressed than under-dressed.
For women attending these events, though, I think the ideal outfit (if highs are 60 or colder) is a cute sweater dress, tights, and flat boots. It's very casual, very appropriate for a bar but still an acknowledgment that it is a networking event.
If you're not a dress person, fear not; trousers are appropriate (unless it's at a swanky venue... so far, that has not been the case for Mr.).

Who to talk to
Anyone! I had a great time last night talking to the other applicants and their significant others. However, you certainly want to talk to those in the program and their significant others.

What to ask about
I think it's good to ask the residents and their significant others about the lifestyle, the housing options, the city (if you don't already live there), and life in general. It's good to get a feel for how happy they are in their program and express your willingness to live in the city of that program.

Overall, have fun! Don't dance on any tables or wear lampshades, of course, but be yourself and help your spouse be him/herself. Have fun finding the right program for you.

Tag Team

As the interviews slowly trickle in, we have to become increasingly strategic in planning interview dates. The three highest priority programs are, of course, Mr.'s two away programs and his home program. So far he has heard from and scheduled interviews for one away and his home program. We have the interview dates for his other away, and one conflicts with the interview we have scheduled for his home program. It is imperative, then, that we schedule his interview from his other away (assuming he's offered one) for the date that doesn't conflict with his home program.
Not only does the day we want not conflict with Mr.'s already scheduled interview, but it also does not conflict with interviews from any other programs that we know of, so we expect it to be the popular choice among those invited. Therefore, Mr. must be in the first half of those who respond. It's an ugly, competitive process with a lot of people reaching for the same thing. It can be tricky, then, on days like today when Mr. has a shelf exam. He won't be able to check his email for 3 full hours, plenty of time for others to respond should he receive an offer.
That's where I come in. Having been some sort of assistant for years now, it is not out of character for me to draft someone else's correspondence or to reply to an invitation on behalf of someone else. So, at my desk job, I will keep constant watch on his email in order to pounce on an interview offer from his 2nd away, should he receive one.
Of course, there's that whole watched pot thing again, so who knows if my services will be needed anyway! Here's hoping we hear soon...

126 days until Match Day

"Tetris" That In There

Dear fellow children of the 80's, remember Tetris? Of course you do. You probably still play it on your phone or computer. Though nothing can beat the memories of playing it on the original Nintendo, with Russian music celebrating your win. In fact, in college I once found myself at an Ozma concert where they played a cover of Korobeiniki (I subsequently downloaded it and added it to a number of playlists on my iPod).
A refresher for those less geeky than myself:
The point of Tetris is to position the dropping game piece so that no empty spaces are created. Once a row has been filled with squares, it will disappear. The trick, obviously, is to strategically pack all of the pieces as tightly as possible by appropriately rotating and shifting the dropping pieces.
This skill that so many of us 20-somethings learned as children has a number of practical applications. Mr. often uses it when packing a trunk of a car with a number of suitcases or grocery bags. to "Tetris" everything in there, he properly arranges the items to allow for little wasted space.

Last night I had what I felt was a Tetris moment. Only this time, instead of fitting together tangible objects, I was fitting Mr.'s interview schedule. Due to the limited time between now and the rank list due-date, many interview dates overlap. In order to maximize interviews, we want to try to schedule multiple interviews on the same weekend (one Friday, one Saturday). Of course, many programs also have social events the night prior, which can make traveling difficult. On one weekend, Mr. has a Friday interview scheduled in the Northeast with a social event the evening prior. Yesterday he accepted an interview in the Midwest for the next day (Saturday) that also has a social event the evening prior. Without knowing the start time of the Midwest social event, we estimate the gap between the end of the interview and the start of the social event is no less than 6 hours. Luckily, we found a direct flight that should take off roughly 3 hours after the end of the Northeast interview and land about an hour prior to the earliest likely start time of the Midwest social event. Unfortunately, the cost for that flight one way (there may be other Midwest interviews the following week, so we didn't want to book the return yet) would have been $600. Luckily, we were able to switch around his Thanksgiving flights to account for that and another interview trip using a multi-destination trip planner to arrange everything for far less. What a relief! Now we just have to hope nothing else changes between now and then. ...Easier said than done...

127 days until Match Day

A Watched Pot Never Boils

Mr. hates that saying. As a scientist, he finds it ridiculous. All else equal, the water will boil at the same rate whether it is watched or not.

Of course, that saying is all I could think of as I eagerly looked for news of interviews on Thursday only to learn Mr. didn't receive any that day. I was getting anxious and becoming distracted from work and school.

Yesterday, though, I couldn't afford to be distracted. Work was piling up, and if I didn't tackle it then, it would only get worse. Meanwhile, Mr. received 3 more interview offers. The first little gush after what had so far been only a trickle.

So, the lesson of the day is this:
Be prepared, have a calendar ready to know which date to choose if given a choice, and be ready. Put the proverbial water into the proverbial pot and turn on the proverbial stove. But after that, live your life, do what you need to do, and trust that the water will boil in time.

131 days until Match Day.

The Thank You Note

As I understand the world, it is common courtesy to write a Thank You note to anyone who takes time out of his/her schedule to interview you.
From the Emily Post Institute:
"At the end of the interview, stand, thank the interviewer for her time, look her in the eye and shake her hand. A short note of thanks—nothing fawning—is also appropriate. "

Of course, in medicine and the highly competitive world of residency applications, students do not want to miss any steps. I'm under the impression that it is very common to send thank you notes after residency interviews. Students debate between e-mail and snail mail, but I don't think that really matters. Mr. doesn't have the email addresses for those who interviewed him, so he plans to send letters. I think a hand-written note on nice stationery is more appropriate, but will that be feasible during what will hopefully be a busy season of interviewing in December and January?

I have never been on "the other side" of residency interviews. The closest experience I had was as an assistant to an attorney on the recruiting committee. She received thank you notes (handwritten cards), but most of the time she shrugged them off "he just doesn't have the grades" or "there are no openings". So, while I believe it is common courtesy to send a thank you note, I'm not convinced it truly makes that big of a difference.

Later in the process, I hear that many write "love letters" to programs. I don't even know what Mr. will do when he hears about that. I think he just likes to get stressed out about inconsequential things. 13 hour surgery? Very cool. 3 succinct but personal thank you notes? The world will end. Ultimately, he just wants to do a good job and be good at what he does. Schmoozing is not his thing... but does he need to do it in order to do what he wants?

133 days until Match Day.



Update: Mr. tells me the etiquette for residency interviews is different than any other type of interview. I'm skeptical. Perhaps he's referring to the "love letter" process that will happen later on?

Happy Election Day!

Just got back from voting! The polls opened at 6am, so I dragged STM with me to our location at 6:30. The lines weren't too bad for the presidential election, but because there are more offices this time and fewer obvious names, I thought people might be taking longer.

We were the first ones there for our election district and possibly the youngest they expect to see all day.

Nevertheless, it was fun! Yay, civic duty! If you have an election in your town today, research the candidates (if you haven't already) and then get out and vote. :)

In other news... 135 days until the Match!

Interview Update

I spoke to Mr. Friday night after his interview as he played Mario with one of his younger brothers, so, perhaps this isn't as thorough a report as I'd hoped.
He was scheduled to begin at 8:00am and had 3 15-minute interviews, including one with the chief resident. There was a lot of downtime at the interview, and it ended with a lunch. Overall it seems it was a positive first experience.

Everyone is looking for something different (operating experience vs. didactics vs. research vs. prestige vs. location vs. lifestyle...), and I'd rather not comment on his priorities right now, but he did like the program and thought it went well. Many programs are reviewed on Orthogate.

Now if he can just get some more offers...

Prep for Interview 1

Once upon a time (June, to be exact), all of our umbrellas broke. All were over a year old, a fair lifespan for an umbrella in NYC, most even older. So, Mr. decided he would buy a new umbrella, a really nice one. Still, when I came home, I was surprised to find he had spent $70 on a really nice big umbrella that is roughly 3' tall folded. While I remarked how nice it is, I also balked a little at how impractical it is. Personally I was just thinking of city use. I always carry my umbrella in my purse so that I'm always ready. Obviously a big umbrella won't fit. It also won't fit in a backpack or briefcase, which means Mr. has to plan to carry it when it might rain. He has to carry it in his hand - one whole hand, that's 50% of his holding capability! In a city where people don't drive, the ability to carry things is vital.
Mr. also bought me an umbrella on his trip - a basic black folded umbrella that fit in my purse. While nowhere near $70, the cost was still significantly more than drug-store or street umbrellas, so I expected it to be high quality and was glad to have something reliable in my purse.
June 2009 was a very rainy month in New York, and it rained the night before Mr. left for his away rotations. I remember because I had left my black umbrella open to dry by our front door (so I wouldn't forget to put it back in my purse). However, two days later as I waited for the M60 bus to LaGuardia (I was off to visit a friend for the 4th), it started to sprinkle. When I reached in my purse, extra stuffed with my laptop and my quart-size bag filled with 3 oz liquids, I discovered that my umbrella was not in there. It then started to pour. I tried to stand under a tree, which worked well when the rain was light but was little help when the sprinkle became a downpour. I was drenched. Once on the bus, I texted Mr. to lament how I'd forgotten my umbrella. As it turns out, he had taken it with him on his away rotations. "It was out". Yes, out, drying out where I'd have to trip on it before forgetting to put it back in my purse. Mr. had been afraid he wouldn't be able to take his big umbrella with him on the plane, so he took mine instead. As you can guess, I bought another umbrella while visiting my friend, one that fits in my purse, so I wouldn't have to go two months without.
Now Mr. is flying out today, and it is yet again rainy in New York. My new umbrella is safely tucked away in my purse and very girly. The black umbrella is in less than perfect condition but still, in my opinion, perfectly usable, particularly if it's just going to be used to and from a car as it would be on this trip. Mr. disagrees, so his first mission last night was to find out if he could take it with him. He'll have a suitcase, a briefcase and a large umbrella, all to carry-on. I imagine they'll let him through, but I'm still a little nervous he's risking losing a $70 umbrella to the TSA. We'll see how this goes.

Mr.'s second mission was figuring out what to wear. While on one hand I can appreciate fretting over such a thing, on the other, I have little sympathy for a man in this situation. I mean, nice shoes, suit, button-down shirt, tie. If this were me, the question would be dress, skirt suit, or pantsuit with a million different ways to accessorize each style. But I digress.
His favorite suit is a dark-grey pinstripe (pictured left), and his other is solid navy. He's wearing the pinstripe. Now for the shirt and tie. Somehow this turned into a process, but he ultimately decided on a white shirt and a patterned tie. It looks nice. I suppose the big debate was whether or not to wear a different colored shirt (he has a dark purple one from Express that looks amazing), but at least for the first few (assuming he gets more than this one, haha), he should play it safe with the white. If other people are having more fun with it, he can switch it up.
Hmm... I hope he knows about the sometimes, always, never rule of buttoning his suit jacket. I'll remind him.

Interview prep isn't all umbrellas and suits, though. Mr. has to do his research on the program as well. What's it known for, who the program director is, etc. etc. I printed off the program's AMA Freida profile, and I'm hoping he found the rest on the program's website and Google news.
Enough typing; time to send my MD-in-training off to his first residency interview!

140 Days until the match!

Another Item to Check Off the List!

Mr.'s dean's letter has been uploaded to ERAS! Though programs won't be able to access it until November 1 (or will it be November 2 because of the weekend? or does the entire field of medicine simply ignore weekends?), it's such a relief to know that it is up.

These last couple months have been kind of crazy. Mr. completed his residency application and submitted it to 52 orthopedic surgery programs and was also invited to become a member of AOA. He finished a radiology elective, took Step II CK, and is now doing an Ambulatory rotation while working on his Independent Study Project. I thought 4th year was supposed to be light?

Of those 52 programs, we've heard from 1 so far (more on that later). Very nerve-wracking as friends going into other specialties have nearly their entire winter set up. However, I understand it's common for orthopedic programs to wait until the dean's letter is up before offering interviews.

Mr. was given the opportunity to proof his dean's letter before it was submitted, and he seemed very happy at the kind words from his letter-writer. The letter also included the information about AOA and hopefully (though Mr. couldn't remember) the award he and one other student in his class won first year. Here's hoping the offers start rolling in next week!

As for the one program we have heard from thus far, he will be going there Friday! I'm excited to hear how it goes. I will not be joining him, but I'll be sure to get a full report to share.

141 days until Match Day.

Specialty

Since I have the palate of a child and I imagine a number of you who read this blog may have children, I feel it only fair to share recipes for meals that I like.

This is a recipe I learned from my uncle who's from Minnesota where I'm told they have things like "dishes" and "bars". This, I believe, would be considered a dish. It's my uncle's specialty, so we just call it "specialty". Real creative with the name, I know.


Here's what you need:

• Approximately 10 oz Pasta (I prefer rotini or elbow macaroni)
• 5 oz can of Chicken
• 1 can (10 3/4 oz) Cream of Chicken condensed soup
• 1 can of equal size of chicken broth
• 8 oz slice Mozzarella Cheese
• Poultry seasoning

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
2. Cook pasta
3. While the pasta is cooking, mix soup and broth in medium saucepan. Add enough poultry seasoning to give mixture slightly green hue.
4. Drain chicken and place in 9x9 glass dish.
5. When the pasta is done, add pasta and soup mixture to the dish. (Note: you may not need all of the soup mixture)
6. Stir so that all components are mixed together.
   
7. Place slices of mozzarella on top, covering the other ingredients.
8. Bake in oven 15-20 minutes or until cheese is brown.

Serves 5-6.

I tried mixing vegetables in once. It was not a success. Serve veggies on the side; I'd recommend preparing them while waiting for the dish to bake.

Ways to make it less unhealthy:

• Whole wheat pasta
• Low-fat and/or low-sodium soup
• Skim mozzarella
• ...If you're a health-nut, you probably already know! :)

I hope you enjoy!

Tips for 4th Year Part I

Mr. submitted ERAS yesterday! We're still early in the process, but here are some of my tips for those who will go through this in the future...

1. Prepare to spend an extra $10k or so for fourth year interviews, particularly if applying for a competitive specialty. Many do this with loans (as we are), but if you can avoid the loans, awesome!
2. Prepare to spend an additional $2k per away rotation for rent and additional food. You'll probably spend less, but if you plan for $2k per month, you should be safe. Note: if your med student is going away in the summer, this will likely be before fourth year loans come in. If you have an income, start saving. If you live entirely on loans, request a little extra for third year.
3. Make a list of programs to apply to in spring of third year. Find out what specific requirements they have. They won't all be the same. Look for:
1. Who they want letters from. Clinical faculty only? Someone not in the specialty? The head of the department? You can submit up to four letters, but as the different programs want letters from different people, you may need 5 or more letters.
2. Additional forms for letter writers. Some programs have their own cover-letter for letters of recommendation, so you need to have that before asking for letters.
3. Any additional exams.
4. Program-specific personal statements.
5. MCAT scores, SAT scores, and/or your undergraduate transcript.
6. Anything else they might think of to request...
   

That's it for now, but I'm sure I'll think of more later. Good luck, everyone!!

197 days until Match Day.

ERAS

Last night, Mr. got home from two months of away rotations. I kept myself very busy these past two months... apparently too busy to blog. :)

When Mr. came home last night, after a hug and a kiss, the first thing we did was sit down and take another look at the list of programs he'll apply to. We got rid of programs that would require those who wrote his recommendation to fill out a special form or were strictly 6-year programs. Since I'm thinking I might go back to school during residency (apparently I like to collect degrees), we also struck some of the more rural programs and added some from Boston, Detroit and Philly. I think we're at 53 programs and hope to whittle down to 50.

Tonight is the night to finish compiling everything as the first day to submit to ERAS is tomorrow.

We have to go through each program and make sure we're fulfilling special requests, such as undergraduate transcript or a program-specific personal statement. Then we'll carefully check the preferences for each program on ERAS to make sure everything is going to the correct place.

I know I always get a little nervous before sending an email at work to a large distribution group, even if it's just the attorney training department (with whom I often correspond). It's only more nerve-racking to send to attorneys, particularly partners. The more power a person has over your future, the more important it is to not screw up. And who could have more power of peoples' futures than the committees who review residency applications? With 50+ programs to comb through, I imagine tonight will be a lonnnnnng night...

199 days until Match Day.

Living Less on Loans

For the majority of medical students, living off of student loans while in medical school is inevitable. Most families in the US can't afford to pay roughly $50k/year in tuition, fees, room & board. Medical students have little opportunity to earn income in the first two classroom years and no opportunities in the last two clinical years. Meanwhile, banks happily approve the loans knowing that US medical students are a good bet.

Some medical students support their entire family (spouse & kids) on loans. For some, this is the best and/or most cost-effective arrangement. However, childless young couples like us live a different way. I work.

It's easy to think of extra expenditures in medical training that require extra loans (such as the additional $11k we're taking out for the residency application process) as simply "drops in the bucket" of the 6-figure student loan debt. However, smaller expenditures add up, particularly when they accrue interest.

The point of this post is not to make our hair turn prematurely grey, but rather to explore the benefits of living less on loans.
In our case, we use my salary to pay for room & board, books, test fees, travel, all discretionary spending, all of my expenses, and away rotation expenses. Focusing on only the necessary medical school related expenses that we've incurred or will incur in years 2-4 (as we were married and merged finances in the summer between years 1 and 2), it breaks down roughly as follows:

Room: $575/month x 36 months = $20,700
Board: $250/month x 36 months = $9,000
Books: $1000/year x 3 years = $3,000
USMLE Test Fees: $2150
Visiting Rotation flights: $300
Visiting Rotation rent: $1600
--------------------------------------------
Total: $36,750

Now, just to be fair, let's assume that Mr. gets a nice offer right out of residency and pays off his loans within the first 6 months. Not likely, I realize, but at the bare minimum, that means that the loans will accrue interest for 5 years. Mr. has a number of different loans at various rates, but to keep a fair estimate, let's look at what that extra $36,750 would happen with 6% interest rate over 5 years.
Annually compounded over 5 years at 6% interest, that $36,750 would become ~$49,180. That's an additional $12,430 in interest.
Taking the full 20 years compounded annually at 6% interest, that extra $36,750 becomes ~$117,860, or an additional $81,110 in interest.

Now, I imagine there are a number of factors I'm missing. Perhaps you can get a better rate, pay more effectively, etc. The point is, paying for the little stuff now helps a lot in the long term. Few couples can pay for everything out of pocket, and not all additional loans are unavoidable. As I stated above, we're taking out extra loans to pay for the interview process. However, by learning to live less on loans and pay for what we can now, we will save a lot in the long run.

Writing the Essay

No, my fellow fighting violets, I'm not talking about the required writing seminar at NYU that all freshman must take in some form or another. I'm referring to a little step in the residency application process known as the Personal Statement.

Though he's been talking about writing his first draft for the past few weeks, Mr. finally sat down last night and hammered out what turned out to be a nearly 800 word piece on how he came to choose orthopedic surgery. While I'm not sure if there is a specific word count, my cousin's statement (which received high praise) was just about 600 words long. Better too long for a first draft, so I feel this is a good start. Of course, after the edits I made to it this morning, it is now 2 words longer. Oops!

If I were the applicant, I think the personal statement would be one of my favorite elements. For one, I'd get to talk about myself, but more importantly I'd really use the opportunity to make those who read them see me as an individual and not merely a list of accomplishments. Mr., on the other hand, finds this element particularly stressful. It's rare for the personal statement to help you, but it can very easily hurt you. As an otherwise highly competitive candidate, Mr. primarily aims to "do no harm" with his statement but is nervous because he's not necessarily a strong writer...or so he thinks.

Upon listening to what Mr. tells me what he wants to say and then reading what he actually puts down on paper, it seems that he was taught ridiculous writing rules that are decent guidelines when first learning how to organize one's thoughts but very restricting parameters when attempting to be eloquent and eye-catching. As a result, my favorite phrases from his statement arose when he told me something and I responded, "write that down, just like you said it" and continued to insist despite his concerns that it wasn't the proper essay structure.

At this point, I imagine some of you are probably thinking, "Come on now, M. Your writing isn't exactly brilliant; where do you get off giving writing advice?" And that is certainly a fair point. My writing is not brilliant, but my reading is. At some point in almost all my jobs and internships, I have been assigned the task to read or proof things, not just for grammatical errors but for content and style as well. I once went through a pile of film scripts and was asked to discard any that weren't interesting after the first 10 pages or so. Another time I reworded descriptions of corporate event planning offerings in client presentations. As a legal secretary, I was often given the task of drafting correspondence to our clients or fixing the correspondence written by associates. Though I had many weaknesses as a producer, I'd like to think one of my strengths (as evidenced by the reviews and my other small successes) is piece selection. I know good work when I see it whether its intent is to entertain, to sell, or to simply just communicate. And though I often lack the talent to create good work from scratch, I truly enjoy tweaking rough drafts to help turn them into final, polished products.

So, this morning I took a look at Mr.'s first draft. I printed a copy and went to town with my pen. Then, I opened the Word doc, set the page to "track changes" and created a redline. After saving and printing the redline, I accepted all changes to give Mr. a clean draft with my edits. I'm sure there will be many more incarnations of Mr.'s personal statement. I don't even know if he'll accept any of my advice, but at the very least it's certainly fun to witness this creative work.

Photo by CPSutcliffe

Away Rotation Update

As mentioned earlier, Mr. applied for two visiting student clerkships ("away rotations") in orthopedic surgery in the midwest. They're both strong programs. One is at a very good hospital affiliated with a top-notch university in an extremely popular city. Let's call that Program A. The other is a strong program with seemingly very happy residents in a city that is far less exciting to most but is halfway between our families and thus very desirable for us. We'll call it Program B.

The application for Program A required listing up to 2 alternative courses and 3 alternative dates. They also needed his Step 1 scores, a letter of recommendation, and his transcript in addition to all of the other usual administrative things. So, he applied for Ortho, Peds Ortho, and Trauma for July, September, and October.
The application for Program B required listing up to 4 alternative combinations of elective + date. So that he wouldn't be scheduling any conflicts, he listed a number of different ortho electives all in the month of August.

As STM's hubby heard back from the many programs he applied to, Mr. and I became antsy. We thought he'd be fine, but we wanted to know something. I would bug him every night when I got home, asking if he'd heard any news, and he would remind me that he would let me know as soon as he heard.

Then, today as I walked back to my office after lunch, typing a text to my friend in the Navy to see if he's in town for Fleet Week, my iphone vibrated. At first I thought I had a new email - a google news alert about the Schumer governance bill or something. However, for once today I had no new emails. Then I saw the little number by my SMS icon. New text message. From Mr.:
"I have been accepted to rotate at [Program A] in July for orthopedics."
I called him as fast as I could hit the speed dial on the touch screen. I can't remember our brief conversation, but I couldn't contain my excitement. Not only is this a great opportunity for him, but it also means that so far, things are going as planned. I'm very much looking forward to getting home tonight and reading his acceptance e-mail. Then we'll tell his Program A city friends that he'll be staying with them and figure out how much we'll pay them. I'll also start looking for flights to visit him.

Are wives normally this excited upon learning their husband will be gone for a month? :)

Minor Vent

So, Mr. is a bit of a neat-freak. I often drive his little OCD-lite self nutty when it takes me two weeks to unpack or if I place a used shirt next to the hamper instead of in it. If I had my druthers, I'd keep up my slightly sloppy ways, but I try to be better about things for the sake of Mr.'s sanity.

Of course, when he then falls short, I get frustrated. For example, he always seems to forget to place a new trash bag in the kitchen trash can after he takes out the trash. Now taking out the trash is great! And in my former life, I would have just been happy about him taking out the trash. Except, if I were the one to forget to put in a new bag, he would point it out in a "you know better than this" type of tone. And because of that, I get annoyed. However, I don't want to nit-pick, so instead I point it out and say, "if I did this, you would get mad". Or "guess what you forgot again!" in a cheery tone. He takes it well...but still always forgets the darn bag!

Then there's the bed making. I don't like to make the bed when nobody is going to see it. In fact, making the bed every day may actually be unhealthy. But, again, it's something Mr. is picky about, so we do it. The deal is the last person out of bed makes the bed. That's usually Mr. so it works out for me. However, last night I put new sheets on the bed late at night...right before bed... When I was finished, Mr. noted my sloppy execution ...not in a mean way, it was kinda cute, but still, it was right before bed. You know, when we were going to mess up the sheets anyway?
It didn't affect me at the time, but it did irk me a little when I discovered this morning that Mr. (who wakes up after me but leaves before me this rotation) didn't make the bed. Normally I would leave it, but we have house guests coming today who are getting in while Mr. and I are both at work. Oy. Vey. Really??

So, I rushed to make the bed and then subsequently missed my bus. Luckily I wasn't late, but I cut it very close!

Ah well. No harm, no foul...

American Fried Rice

First year of medical school, Mr. lived with two of his classmates. Both really chill, nice guys, they are also both Chinese-American. Why does that matter? Because they taught Mr. how to cook Fried Rice. Toward the end of first year as I was about to move in, all three boys made dinner, and I - one of the pickiest eaters ever - tried fried rice for the first time. It was fine and probably made wonderfully, but when it came my turn to make it, I put my own (bland Americana) twist on it.

I call it American Fried Rice.


It's a pretty balanced dish and really inexpensive to make, so here's what you need:

• Vegetable Oil (or whatever oil you prefer)
• 3 cups of rice (day-old works best, but you can make it fresh as well)
• 3 hot dogs, cut into 1/2" cubes
• 1/2 cup? (I eyeball it...) of frozen peas
• 1/2 cup (again, eyeball) of frozen corn
• (any other veggies you want to include)
• 3 eggs
• Salt/pepper and any other seasoning you'd like
  

Here's how you do it:

1. If not using day-old rice, cook rice.
2. Scramble eggs with salt and pepper in separate bowl and set aside.
3. Chop hot dogs into 1/2" cubes (or smaller)
4. Pour a little bit of oil in a large pan over medium heat and move pan to coat with a thin layer of oil.
5. Cook hot dogs
6. Add corn, peas & any other veggies to the pan to cook for roughly 5 minutes.
7. Add rice to the pan, and stir all ingredients together.
8. Add eggs to the pan and stir so that everything is mixed well
9. Continue to fry until the egg mixture is coating all of the rice and is no longer raw.
10. Turn off heat and serve!

As a main dish, this makes about 4 servings. As a side dish, I imagine it makes about 8 servings.

If you have picky kids, this recipe might be worth a shot! :) I do, after all, have the palate of a 5 year-old...

Being Kiki

My sorority little once read a celebrity magazine article where some female superstar mentioned her personal assistant/best friend. I think her name was Cocoa or something like that, because we then joked about me being my little's Kiki (also the name of the Julia Roberts character in America's Sweethearts). While I suppose some might be offended at the implication that they would be an assistant to their friend, I found it both flattering and fitting.

The last few years it has become clear that I love doing stuff for my friends. Most recently, I found sublets for my friend's friend who's moving here for a month with her sister starting next week as well as one for my friend who's moving here indefinitely in a month. It actually worked out that by doing so, I was able to help out two different sorority sisters unload their apartments for short periods of time.

I also made a google map for my friend who's moving here, mapping out neighborhood gyms, grocery stores, and landmarks in the area where she'll be working. For my little, I helped her to find a venue for a play her mother is producing as well as shared employment contracts I had used as a producer for her mother and her to work off of.

Let's not forget my spreadsheets that I've made for Mr., either. I actually have spreadsheets for Ophtho, ENT, and Ortho, but I only really update the ortho one any more.

Anyway, the point is I love this stuff. I love researching and organizing life. I like creating systems and playing an active role in transactions. I love this stuff so much that I'll spend my time working on this stuff instead of on studying during finals week.

And well, because of this, I think I'm really going to enjoy being a doctor's wife. From scheduling residency interviews to keeping track of the household budget while Mr. spends 80+ hours in the hospital, I will always have a project.

...and when that's not enough, I'm sure my friends will keep me plenty busy as well. And if that fails, I suppose I could become a professional life assistant... I think I'll go by "Kiki". ;)

For Fellow Future Ortho Widows...

...And even moreso their ortho spouses,

I thought I'd share this resource Mr. is slightly obsessed with:

Orthogate

It has, I think, just about everything you want to know about orthopedic surgery in the US. I haven't spent too much time perusing it just yet, but I suspect it may come in handy in these upcoming months.

The Joys of Campus Living

I lived in campus housing all four years of undergrad. Of course, I went to a college with very little campus and had a 30-minute commute from my junior and senior year dorm to the classroom buildings, but nevertheless, I loved campus living. In sorority housing, I had 9 suitemates my sophomore year and 4 my junior and senior years. There was always someone nearby, and on sunny days, it was great to sit out in the park, doing some homework. (Actually, I was once pictured in the NY Sun reading in Union Square Park on an unusually warm February 29... I remember the date because I called a friend of mine, a current MS3, actually, whose birthday it was.)

I spent one year between undergrad and moving to the med school, and one thing I looked forward to was living on campus again! It hasn't disappointed. We have friends who live nearby which makes impromptu plans easy to make, and I'll often run into a familiar face in the lobby or at the bus stop. This past weekend, I spent much of both days lounging in the courtyard, getting more of a tan 2 days in New York than I did during my week in India!

However, while I enjoy the perks of a student, I'm still not one myself. I'm sure more people know who I am than the other way around. I've been introduced to most of Mr.'s class by now, but, as hard as I try, I don't remember them unless I've actually spent time with them. So, when I'm lounging in the courtyard by myself, knowing my actions or inaction might reflect on my husband, I often opt to act and be oblivious. I bury my head in my book and/or wear my headphones. While I always love to run into people I know, I don't want to inadvertently ignore someone I should have said hello to. Luckily, those people who know me well will approach me even when oblivious, so it all works out. :)

Meritocracy

Yesterday afternoon, I saw my boss get a call from the HR manager. A little while later she asked me to stop by her office. Our firm recently laid off a number of support staffers, so I was a little nervous as I made the 30 second walk to her office.

Turns out I was right and wrong. I was right in that her calling me into her office was related to the call she received from HR, but wrong to be worried. It was time for my review, and my boss gave me a lot of positive feedback.

No raises are being offered this year, but they are still awarding merit bonuses. The bonuses are smaller than they've been in the past, but that's to be expected in this economic climate. My boss, happy with the work I've been doing, secured the top bonus for me and seemed apologetic that it couldn't be more.

Here's how I feel about it, though - I'm glad I have a job. I'm especially glad I have a job where my work is appreciated and my efforts rewarded. I understand the budget is tight, so I don't mind the amount. What matters to me is working for an employer that tries to encourage hard work by offering merit-based rewards.
Last year I worked at one of those "too big to fail" banks. After all of the reviews were submitted and evaluated, my boss called me into her office. Everyone on support staff was getting a 2% raise. Everyone. ...Okay, so it doesn't matter that these people gave far more to the company and far out performed those people? The only reward is the self-satisfaction of a job well done? I mean, don't get me wrong, that self-satisfaction can be pretty rewarding, but I was annoyed with the message this was sending us. To me, this says that the company doesn't respect what the support staff does enough to recognize top performers. It then, in essence, encourages laziness and "just getting by". Which in turn makes the entire company run poorly.
That is one of many reasons I lost respect for my former employer and opted to return to my current one.
My bonus this year is only 1/3 the amount of my annual raise at the bank, but the latter felt like a slap in the face whereas this one feels like a generous reward. The difference is the reason for them.

I think it's awful that layoffs are taking place here, but I truly see them as a reflection of the time. Bonuses aside, this firm is well run with priorities in the right places. I'm proud to work in a meritocracy. And if there's any confusion, I'd still be proud even if I hadn't earned the top bonus. If American companies hope to survive this recession, they need to focus more on rewarding good work. A little incentive will go a long way.

Shameless Request

I hastily made a survey! About hot dogs!

It's for my advertising class, and I'd love if anyone who swings by here might take a peak at it and fill it out.

Click here to take the survey.

Thanks!

Susan Boyle & The Match

Like many Americans & Brits, I have watched - and been moved by - Susan Boyle's performance on Britain's Got Talent. The song she sang, "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misérables, has been in my repertoire since I was 15 and saw that episode of Dawson's Creek where Katie Holmes' character sings it in a beauty pageant.
While not the most challenging song ever written, it does provide a number of challenges. The range required spans the break many female singers have between their chest and head voice, so you have to use your mix voice for the higher notes so as to not sound like two different people. While trained singers tend to bridge their break rather seamlessly, I've found it an issue for amateurs and pop stars alike (Shakira is the worst about it!).
Also, a lower-tempo song, the phrases are sometimes on the longer side, requiring good breath support. Personally, I always tend to have breath support issues which are only made worse when I'm nervous. Now, I've been singing in public my whole life. I don't really get nervous performing. I don't really care if audience members don't love me; I just enjoy being up there. However, I'm a ball of nerves whenever I audition because if the casting directors don't like what I do enough, I don't get the opportunity to do something I want. Ironically, this tends to hurt my audition. The nerves make breathing even more difficult, making my voice crack and my phrases trail off far too early. I hate auditions, but they're necessary in order for me to do what I love.

Similarly, Mr. is having a rough time with anxiety over this upcoming year. Is he choosing the right day for Step 2 CK? Will he stand out at his away rotations? Will he get enough interviews? And finally, will he match? After reassuring him that he will match but if by some fluke he doesn't it still won't be the end of the world, I gently reminded him that a career in orthopedic surgery doesn't stop being stressful.
He replied, "I know, but then I'll be doing what I want to be doing. I'll be learning about and then practicing surgery."
And that's when I realized that, like me, Mr. gets nervous for auditions despite his confidence when he performs.

Part of what I found so inspiring about Susan Boyle was her ability to perform despite her obvious nerves. I listened carefully at the bridge, waiting for her to crack or take an obvious breath in the middle of a phrase, and yet she powered through. Though Mr. is nervous about all that is ahead of him, I'm confident it won't show during his extended audition for residency. Still, the countdown for the match has begun. 10 months, 3 weeks, 5 days.

Back from India!

I just returned back from a whirlwind trip of a lifetime earlier this week. Two friends of mine from high school (one who lives in Chicago and another who lives in Mumbai) and I traveled around India, visiting Delhi, Agra, Jaipur, Udaipur and Mumbai.

It was a great experience on many fronts, but between the 26/11 attacks and it being the hot season, tourism was incredibly low. At our hotel in Udaipur, it felt as though we had our whole hallway to ourselves.

My favorite leg of the trip was Jaipur because of the people, the sights, the experiences, and the shopping. Here's a picture of us at Amber Fort:


I have too many stories to post, but I just wanted to stop by!

Come Fly with Me...

I hate abandoning the blog, but I'm off to India!

See you after Easter.

Too Funny (and True!) to Not Post

How to Date a Med Student

Remembering Boredom

I am stressed. out.

I just took a midterm tonight, finished the first part of a group project over the weekend, and have 3 more projects in my lap. I have class 3 nights a week, an online class, church obligations, and sorority paperwork.

A year ago, I came home every night unless I had social plans. I'd get to make dinner and watch TV. I was really bored and felt directionless.

While I'm glad to be learning new skills and to have some direction, it's hard to remember what was so bad about not having stuff I had to do at night.

I wish my pride could handle being a law firm support staffer in the long term. I could work 35 hour weeks, have great pay and benefits, and spend my paycheck on travel and designer shoes. Sadly, I do want a career of some sort. Le sigh.

At least as a student I get spring break - 8 days until take-off!

Nerdy Fights

Last night, I texted Mr. (who was in one of the classroom buildings studying for the oral exam he had today) that I was going to bed, and as it sent, he opened the door. Already 11:30, I was cutting it close if I wanted to get 6 hours of sleep. But we hung out and chatted, which was great. Then, as I was heading to bed, I mentioned that Obama had made an offensive comment on Leno. This prompted Mr. to turn it on to see for himself.

We saw the gaffe, and we also heard him make a few other statements, which made me think of another topic closely related and thus spurred what turned into a 2-hour argument about the economy, investment banking, AIG, Citigroup, employee compensation, contract breaches, and the long-term macroeconomic impact of short-term legislation. All of a sudden, it was 1:55am, and my alarm was set for 6. Luckily, by that point we actually achieved a shared position (sort of).

Now, Mr. and I have had many a "nerdy fight" as my friends call them. But typically, they just end with me changing the subject because we're out in public and I'm afraid we're making our companions (usually STM & her hubby) uncomfortable. Clearly this is a good move on my part as it apparently takes two hours for us to quasi-agree.

That said, it was fun to finally go through it all. I love being challenged intellectually and by not giving up, I didn't have to concede every point. I do still have to work on my strategy, though, so that I'm not always playing defense. I think I might mimic some of his techniques (like challenging every statement to ask for specific statistics I know he doesn't know)...

Match Day

In 52 weeks, Mr. and I will find out where we'll be living for the following 5 years of our lives. For those of you who are MS4's or MS4 spouses, I hope you're out celebrating (and even more so that you feel the desire to celebrate)!

Sadly, my cousin (an MS4) is not celebrating at the moment. She matched at her #7 program and is considering switching to a less competitive specialty to get out of it. (I'm not sure if we currently know if that's an option).

I can only imagine what she's feeling right now.

However, I am making a mental list of cities I do NOT want to move to, and making sure they're not on Mr.'s list. You feel very out of control with the match, but the one thing you have power over is your list. I knew it before, but it's obvious to me now that you have to be okay with every program listed.

Roommates Part II

Last fall, I wrote about how Mr. and I felt like roommates and that was about it. I'm under the impression that from MS3 throughout the end of medical training, there are those killer rotations during which you simply don't see your spouse. This, not surprisingly, seems to be one of them.

Mr. is finishing his surgery rotation, and as the shelf exam draws nearer, I see him less and less. The last time Mr. and I ate in the same place at the same time was Saturday evening, and that was just snacks, not a meal. Since I have class tonight and tomorrow and a friend in town on Friday, I expect the earliest Mr. and I will share a meal will be dinner on Saturday. Maybe.

However, unlike last September, it's not so bad. Sure it'd be great if I could see him more, but the important part is appreciating each other when we do see one another. It's really just an attitude adjustment for both of us. Instead of spending our 5 minutes that we see each other each day talking about bills or those dirty dishes in the sink, we ask how the other is doing. We each seek the other's advice. We remember that we're on the same team. So, even though we may be living like roommates or merely ships passing in the night, we feel like the united married couple we are.

(And it's a lot easier for me to tackle those dirty dishes in the sink when I know Mr. and I are on the same team.)

Away We Go

Last week, Mr. turned in the second of his two away rotation (aka visiting clerkship) applications for a couple programs in the midwest. It's a little nerve wracking because to best guarantee a spot for yourself, you have to provide alternative preferences. But when applying for more than one away, you have to make sure that you're not setting yourself up for a schedule conflict. After all, it can't look good for a program to accept you for a visiting clerkship and for you to then turn them down.

At the same time, you don't want to find you've been rejected by a program only 2 months before you had anticipated starting it. I guess I'll have to let you know in a couple months how it works out for Mr. His primary concern right now is that the registrar's office mail his applications in a timely fashion. I feel this may require a lot of follow up, both with the registrar and with the visiting program site directors.

Countdown to MD

This week, Mr. renewed the lease on our student apartment. That is the last lease we'll sign for this apartment, which is both exciting and terrifying.

This upcoming year will be filled with away rotations, step II exams, residency applications, interviews, and, in a year, Mr. will submit his rank list. I'm certain it will be exciting ...and expensive.
This week, the two midwestern programs Mr.'s thinking of doing away rotations at posted their applications and schedules for the 2009-2010 school year. As visiting students often have an advantage when applying for residency, narrowing down which programs to apply for aways at
has been like making a mini-match list... only we haven't seen any of these places yet, so Mr. can't judge based on the people or the program outside of rankings, location, and data posted on Frieda.
The first is easy. It's the program in located halfway between both sets of parents.
The other will be in Chicago, the city all midwestern 20-somethings dream of living. As there are four programs in Chicago, it's really difficult to determine which to choose. The location is the same, so that's a draw. Then two are prestigious while the other two aren't as prestigious. From there we're stuck. One has a really strong ortho program, but the other has a decent ortho program and an extremely good and well-known brand. I'm leaning toward the latter, but of course I'm not in medicine.
How are we supposed to make this decision?

Bad Day Cliché

Today started alright. I think I got close to the 7 hours of sleep I had hoped to have. STM let me know about service changes on the train so that I was able to alter my route accordingly.

However, today has been decidedly bad.

It's been busy at work, which is sometimes a good thing, but not today. A file we needed was corrupt, and after going back to the original email and pulling it back from the archives, I discovered that it, too, was corrupt.

A room for a presentation today that had been moved twice already was moved, yet again, unbeknownst to me or my boss. So, she sent the wrong room number to the distribution group of 800 or so attorneys only to be corrected by one of the girls in attorney training (who actually hadn't been notified of the 2nd or 3rd change but luckily the 3rd change was to the same room as the 1st change had been). Point of story - my boss looked bad, and she doesn't like that. This was not my fault but still not good.

Then, a couple attorneys couldn't open the documents links from that same email. Must have been some technical glitch, so still not my fault but still not good.

However, shortly thereafter I did screw up by not calling someone I was supposed to. This is a minor slip but it was not my only one of the day.

Lunch came and went, and I only had time to eat the sandwiches I had packed, unable to get any chips as I had intended.

Then, my bigger slip came from not changing the sharepoint calendar for this training that was switched last Thursday. The frustrating part is I could have sworn I changed it. I know to update the calendars. There have been lots of changes lately, so I've made a deliberate effort to be more on top of these changes. So I was shocked to see that that particular change hadn't been made. Of course, this came to light because my boss emailed 4 or 5 attorneys reminding them of this date (better than 800 attorneys but still not good).

On top of work stuff, my iphone's touch screen just decided to stop working today. I slid to open it, and then couldn't type my password. I turned it off and couldn't even slide it on. I tried turning it off to see if it was just the bottom of the screen that was broken, and I can't slide the top bar to power off. wtf. And, of course the genius bar doesn't have any appointments until like, tomorrow at midnight.

However, to top off this already bad day, when I went to the vending machine to get some cheetos for my now starving stomach--10 minutes after my shift had ended but with work still left to do--they got stuck in the machine. We have really nice machines here. Stuff like that never happens. But of course it happened to me. today. I'd take a picture to show you my sad cheetos stuck in a crevice at the bottom of the shelf above them, but I can't. My phone (also my camera) is broken. Boo.

Next thing I know some one will accuse me of having a case of the Mondays.

Update: I just tried the vending machine again in hopes that the second bag of Cheetos would push the first bag out. Now they are both stuck. Really?

Crocs

So, it's been quite a while. And then, after a certain amount of time of not posting, the pressure to write a good post grew. Should I post about Mr.'s rotations? He finished with peds a couple weeks ago. Nothing very noteworthy there (except observations that would probably be offensive and thus I'd rather not touch).

January I was overwhelmed with a research-heavy online winterim course, and I decided that cramming a 15-week course into a 3 week period is not such a good idea, particularly when the student also has a full-time job.

However, Mr. started his surgery rotation this week, and what better topic to write about as the wife of a to-be surgeon and a fashion student than his new choice of footwear:

Ah, crocs. I remember first seeing them on the feet of tourist children one summer a few years ago. I thought they were the most hideous things I had ever seen, but considering my shoes lit up when I was a child, I had no room to judge.

However, a season or two later, I began to notice them on adult tourists wandering Murray Hill trying to find the Empire State Building. They quickly became equivocal in my mind to fanny packs and cargo shorts. Sure, they might have a function, but they're really really ugly. Since I don't garden and prefer enclosed shoes for hiking, I never imagined I would ever own a pair.

And then I married a medical student. A medical student - I might add - who has relatively good fashion sense most of the time. However, last Saturday he went to the academic Barnes & Noble on 18th & 5th to purchase a pair of crocs for surgery. His choice of store is somewhat reassuring. While I imagine there are plenty of places closer to our apartment that sell crocs, he views them strictly as a necessary accessory for his medical training. This didn't stop me from teasing him about them, but ever so secure, he expressed no shame in his beloved, navy blue crocs.

Monday was an orientation, and Tuesday he scrubbed into his first surgery of the clerkship. It was 12 1/2 hours long. How he survived that without eating or taking a bathroom break is beyond me, but I'm sure he's glad he had comfortable footwear.

Still, I hope he never wears them outside the hospital. ;)