By George, she's got it!*

So Mr. wasn't as thrilled with otolaryngology as I was. Basically, I think my 'Eureka!' moment should have come a year earlier when he had time to get excited about it, shadow doctors, scrub in on surgeries, etc. BUT, he is considering it. In fact, I think it's basically down to 2. Two high-paying, uber competitive surgical specialties that begin with the letter 'O' (in order of likelihood):

1. Orthopedics
2. Otolaryngology (yes, I really like that word)

When we both took a look at the little data that we could find, I've learned that when comparing the two, the pay for otolaryngology isn't quite as high and the hours (after residency) aren't that much better. That said, I'm still pulling for ENT over Ortho. I can't really explain why. Maybe it's because the only medical problems I've ever had have been in in my head and neck? Or because I'm a singer and thus have a fascination with the vocal cords? Or perhaps because I've read about ortho being bad enough times that I have this notion that it's very very very bad and anyone who chooses it hates sunshine and happiness. Or maybe it's a combination of those things. Who knows. I just have to keep repeating the mantra I wrote yesterday: it's important to find the right speciality for him, because if he's miserable in his job, he'll be miserable at home, and I won't want to see him those extra hours throughout the week anyway!

Regardless of which he chooses, though, my pseudo-obsession with the idea of otolaryngology finally made the whole location part of residency search 'click' with me. After my blog post, I went to go find the various match statistics and research the different residencies. This past year, there were 273 otolaryngology spots to be filled. By comparison, Ortho, also very competitive, has 636 spots. A lot of programs only have 2 ENT spots to fill. Yikes! Mr.'s a competitive candidate, but that doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room. I started thinking, 'okay, we have to apply to every single program in the midwest and NYC as well as Baltimore, Tennessee, and certain programs in the South. Maybe we should throw Connecticut and Boston into the mix, too. And well, since Pennsylvania is between NYC and the midwest, we might as well look there as well. Oh, what the hell - lets just apply to all of them and see where he gets interviews.' Oh. yeah. That's how it works. Maybe people going into peds or medicine have some options with regards to region, but with the competitive specialties, you just have to go where you can.
I don't know why it took me so long to get that. I think I had just been reading too many message board posts saying 'I have a family so I'm only looking in x area' that made me angry Mr. didn't have the same mentality. But at the end of the day, you just have to go where you match. And in our case (competitive as we are), not matching is not an option.

That said, I still hope he ranks certain midwestern locations rather high... :)


*Bonus points for correctly naming that musical
**Double bonus points for naming the song in said musical
Googling is cheating. ;)

Calendar Communications

If there's one thing I've learned over these past 2 1/2 years as a blogger and a wife, it's how important staying organized is for maintaining peace in a relationship. It's hard enough staying organized myself, but throw my husband's endlessly-changing schedule into the mix it can easily turn into chaos. Add that to my obsession with knowing where everything and everyone is at all times, and you can start seeing why I'm slightly obsessed with keeping myself, my husband, and everyone around me on a tight schedule. Up until now, the hubby and I'd basically been using a system of emailing schedules to each other and then keeping them in our inboxes for a handy reference. But what if his shift changes? We would basically be screwed.
Which is why I was so excited when MW mentioned Google Calendars on here the other day. Syncing calendars was something the hubby and I hadn't thought of before. So guess what? We tried it (got all set up, etc.) on Sunday before the start of his week-long night shift and so far so good. If he's wondering which nights I'm home and which I'm with friends, it's on the calendar. If (or more likely, when) I forget what time he gets off in the morning, it's on the calendar. Genius.

When I grow up...

After a long wonderful day of various events, I got home to Mr. who, at 10:00pm, hadn't eaten dinner yet. I made him some spaghetti, and an hour or so later, technically my 'bed time', he decided that he was going to choose his specialty before going to sleep.

He started out with a list of 6:

1. Orthopedics
2. Gynecologic Oncology
3. Ophthalmology
4. Interventional Radiology
5. Otolaryngology
6. Anesthesiology

Naturally I was excited to hear 3 of the 4 ROAD specialities (if IR still counts for Radiology, that is), but I think my enthusiasm for those three delayed our bedtime unnecessarily.

This was our pro/con list (disclaimer: our pros and cons may not be the same as yours):

Orthopedics:
Pros: High pay, Lots of procedures, deals with various anatomy, challenging, has helped with research in the field, changes lives (going from not walking to walking makes patients happy)
Cons: Notoriously poor work/life balance

Gynecologic Oncology:
Pros: Interesting Procedures, knows that he finds it interesting based on his rotations
Cons: Moderate pay, would have to do OB/Gyn residency first (no guarantee he'd match in gyn onc and he doesn't want to be an OB)

Ophthalmology:
Pros: High pay, great work/life balance, cool procedures
Cons: Focused on only one tiny part of the body, early match (so he'd apply before doing a rotation in it)

Interventional Radiology:
Pros: High pay, cool procedures, possibly good work/life balance?
Cons: Would have to do a regular radiology residency first (no guarantee he'd match in the fellowship, and he doesn't want to read x-rays the rest of his life), no experience in it

Otolaryngology (ENT):
Pros: High pay, cool procedures, deals with various organ systems
Cons: No experience in it yet

Anesthesiology:
Pros: High pay, good work/life balance, requires a lot of knowledge
Cons: No procedures - would have to sit by and watch surgeons do 'the fun stuff'

Not all pros and cons are created equal, so now the list, in no particular order, is:

1. Orthopedics
2. Gynecologic Oncology
3. Ophthalmology
4. Otolaryngology

I know you're thinking 'Oh no! She lost 2 of the 3 ROAD specialties, and the 3rd is hanging on by a thread!' However, it's important to find the right speciality for him, because if he's miserable in his job, he'll be miserable at home, and I won't want to see him those extra hours throughout the week anyway!

I also am thinking that otolaryngology might be a good fit for him (and us) after doing a little more research today... the pay is really good (don't judge - we have crazy mad loans to pay off!), and it has a decent work/life balance. Plus, there are a lot of different surgeries and procedures he could do. Sure, there would be a lot of tonsillectomies, but every specialty is going to have its 1 or 2 extremely common and relatively unexciting procedures. With Otolaryngology, though, there is a wide range of less common and rather exciting procedures, too!

Now I just need to find where the good ENT residency programs are...

24-hour call

Mr. and I have google calendars that we both have access to so we can each know what the other is doing. For Saturday (today), I saw Mr. had marked '12 hour weekend call'. So, I figured Friday night would be a chill night. I'd make some dinner, do a little laundry, and hang out with Mr. during his study breaks. On my way home, though, I received a text message from him informing me that he had 24-hour call and wouldn't be home until 6am.

So, I went home, made dinner, put the rest of it away, did the laundry, washed the dishes, and took out the trash. And while I did that, I though back to the housework shift from single life to married life. It's not that husbands are so high maintenance that they require so much housework, particularly not in my case. Instead (in my completely unsubstantiated opinion), it's because we're more motivated to take care of others better than we take care of ourselves. For example, it's more fun to cook for someone else than just yourself. When I'm just cooking for me, I want the food to be done as soon as possible so I can eat it. When I'm cooking for other people, though, I want them to enjoy it, I want it to be balanced, etc.

By getting into the habit of caring for another person, I feel like perhaps I'm growing up a little bit. There's a reason, after all, why immature characters in movies and tv shows are always eating ramen noodles and Chinese take-out.

Making Time

Yesterday when I was out to lunch with a coworker, I told her about how it feels like Mr. and I are more like roommates at the moment. We talked about the issue and tried to best figure out what exactly I was feeling. Toward the end it just became about time. "We just have to find time," I remarked. She corrected, "no, you have to make time, because you're never going to find it."

I was then reminded of a passage I had selected for our wedding by C.S. Lewis.
...Love in this second sense -- love as distinct from 'being in love' -- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit...
(The emphasis is mine).

It's hard for two independent and goal minded individuals to start new habits, particularly when there are so many distractions like work and school, especially medical school. Medical students barely have time for themselves, let alone for others, and I imagine it only gets worse as the training progresses. That's why making time is necessary, whether it means Mr. hangs out with me, talking or playing cards during his study breaks or I stay up an extra 15 minutes to pay attention to him.

It will be difficult to start making time. We both have a lot of stuff on our plates - a lot of stuff that is important to us. But I'm confident that if we put the effort in now, it will eventually become habit and stop being difficult.

Roommates

Thursday night, I was an hour or so getting late after finishing some things up at work. By the time I got home, he was in the classroom building studying. By the time he got home, I was in bed.

Friday night, I got home a little after midnight after attending an event at my old sorority house. Mr. was helping our friend bottle beer. I was exhausted and was again asleep before he got home.

Saturday was a long day for me. I did a little homework in the morning while Mr. slept, and then headed into town to grab a quick bite with a friend before heading to see our mutual friend in About Face, a delightful musical comedy that had me laughing out loud throughout. Even the scene changes were adorable. I hope it gets picked up for Broadway. I think it would do quite well there as it certainly has oodles of mainstream appeal. If you're in the city, you should try to catch it Wednesday night!
After the show and a quick bite, I headed up to church for a social event I spearheaded. The regulars of the group were very pleased, and I hope the newcomers weren't intimidated by the small numbers.
Anyway, Mr. was actually home by the time I got home! But, he was studying and 'in the groove' with his noise-canceling headphones on, so we said a few words to each other before I hit the sack.

Sunday morning, Mr. was still asleep when I left for church and out studying when I came back. He came home early... because the Yankee's game was on.

Tonight I have class, and tomorrow I have class followed by a cabaret in Manhattan after which I'll crash at my friend's apartment.

Maybe I'll see Mr. on Wednesday. We definitely feel more like roommates at the moment.

Back to the Grind

I usually get to work roughly 20 minutes early, but about once every month or so, there's some sort of train delay that has me rushing to my office in order to swipe in by 7 minutes past the time I'm supposed to arrive (to avoid having my personal time docked).
By some cruel twist of fate, this always seems to happen on the morning of this monthly meeting that my boss hosts. The morning of this meeting, I always need to take care of a number of issues, including compiling all of the handouts and sending out the invitation to remind everyone. The meeting starts 90 minutes after the start of my day. It would be a bit of a race if it weren't for my train delays.
Even though my personal time won't be docked as I swiped in 6 minutes past, I still spent much of the morning running around like a crazy person. No easing into the day today.

Luckily, I was passed along this hilarious video, which I think will be appreciated by anyone who has worked in or with IT (You may have seen the original Norwegian version, but I like this one better.):

Warehouse Galleries

The summer before I moved to New York, I would drive around my Midwestern town listening to a Lisa Loeb tape after a rough break up and dream of spending my evenings listening to singer songwriters in tiny hole-in-the-wall venues.
While I don't do that sort of thing as often as I had once dreamed, I do still enjoy those little hidden warehouse like venues and discovering emerging artists.

Last Friday, STM and I attended the menswear show for Kesh, a young British designer, held at Anonymous Gallery on the Lower East Side. The actual show started roughly 75 minutes after the scheduled time, and the other audience members were robed in all sorts of eccentric attire. Perhaps that was intentional, as Kesh's quirky men's line seemed tame in comparison.

The show, of course, lasted but a few minutes, and we went to dinner afterwards at B Bar. The atmosphere was great, and the food was alright.

Overall, an eventful Friday evening girl's night out.

Blah Days

Ever have those days where your instincts just seem to be a bit off?

Mr. and I, both perfectionists in our own ways, have had those this week. I mislabeled something on my boss's calendar, asked for the wrong case from the librarian, and I think spoke too much in class on Tuesday (my M.O. is to answer as often as possible so he won't call me when I don't know something, but I think I overdid it last class...). Mr., by luck of the draw, had one day to prep for a written and oral presentation when most students have 3 days and are further into that rotation. Okay, so his blah day was more a result of unfortunate circumstances contrasted with my careless slips, but we were able to keep each other company in our misery.

The week is ending, though, and every moment brings new opportunities to make things better. Mr.'s oral presentation (made on fewer than 2 hours of sleep) was well received, and I'm getting back in the groove at work. I'm also very excited for an eventful weekend.

TGIF :)

911

Last night I was in the financial district for a NY Cares Day Team Leader Orientation. As I walked up Wall Street to the train back to the borough, for some reason I did what I rarely do as a New Yorker - I looked up.

When I did, I saw the image on the right and remembered the day.

September 11, 2001, I was in my AP Government Class, which, as a senior AP, was a class where the nerds could hang out and just debate each other silly. The class where, just a week prior, the faux sexist and I discussed how the Taliban was even more extreme than he would prefer.
That particular morning we were discussing vocabulary. It was a slow morning for our well-intentioned young teacher who just couldn't seem to drag answers out of us.
Then his TA, another senior, came back from the office and told us the world trade center was on fire. At first I figured it must have been some office fire that got out of control. I think many of us were just happy to stop talking vocab and turn on the news.
We then learn it was from a plane. Weird, some private pilot flew into the tall skyscrapers. Right?
Then the other plane hit. That's when we realized it was real. The school was put on lock down. Clearly Al-Qaeda wasn't going to attack us in the middle of a cornfield, but this sort of thing brings the crazies out. Everyone who ever dreamed about placing a bomb threat was now doing so, making the already chaotic day even more so.
We stayed in my AP Government class all morning, watching the news as the third plane hit the Pentagon and the fourth went down in Pennsylvania.
We watched as we learned the Taliban was likely responsible. I had known about their horrendous treatment of women, but I hadn't realized they hated us. I was pretty sheltered and unaware at that time.
Lockdown ended in time for our third period class. For me that was choir.
At that time, I had already decided I was going to try to come to New York for college. I was looking as NYU and Marymount Manhattan College, in that order. A good friend of mine in the year below me was interested in those two as well, so we had planned a college visit trip to New York with our mothers for mid-October during fall break. I saw my friend in choir. This city we had been obsessing about as we planned our visit was now under attack.
Fourth period (after lunch) there was a bomb threat, and they evacuated us to the football field.
We returned for roughly 20 minutes of fifth period, I think, and that was the end of the day.

I was glued to the news that evening. I knew it was big. I knew it was awful. But it seemed so far away. It didn't seem real.
A month later, my friend, our mothers and I made our trip, despite the gasps of shock and horror from other adults in the community that our moms weren't just flying but flying to New York with us so soon.
My friend's mom was a teacher, and her students made a sign for us to place at the site expressing their thoughts and prayers. As we walked down there we saw the roads were blocked off to cars. Pedestrian traffic only. There were fliers everywhere with pictures of missing people, posted on lamp posts like advertisements for a concert.
Throughout the visit, everyone was still talking about it. We'd walk down the street and the party behind us would mention so-and-so who lost her uncle or this person who was there. It became real.

I've spent every September 11 since in this city. As the years go on for those who were here, it becomes a more distant memory. Particularly for those who were here and were fortunate to not lose a loved one.
For me, I think it gets more real each year. First I just lived in New York. Then I lived just a 10 minute walk from the site. Now I work in a skyscraper and truly have context for who would have been there that day. 8:46 am. Janitors, security guards, receptionists. Eager young analysts and low-level professionals getting a crack on the day or still working after a long night. The old secretaries who always take the Express Bus in from an outer borough to arrive 30 minutes early every day. The guy selling donuts and newspapers. The mail guys and gals preparing for their first run of the day. Most people who are in sky scrapers at 8:46am are people who work hard, people who are responsible, people who are probably under appreciated.
It's weird to work in these buildings and think, 'What if it had been this one?'

Depending on where Mr. ends up for residency, I will probably be spending the 9th anniversary away from this city. Never fully inside but never fully outside either, I wonder what the shift will be like.

For today, though, my thoughts and prayers are with those whose loved ones were lost, for those who were here and in DC 7 years ago, and for all of us as we continue living.

Lonely Ring

This morning it took me a little while to realize my alarm was going off. Mr. had left an hour ago. As I walked past his 'office' on the way to the bathroom, I noticed his wedding ring sitting on his desk. If he hadn't made a special point last night to tell me he loves me, it probably would have taken me longer to remember he's in labor & delivery this week.

Home Brews and I Do's!

This weekend was mostly spent with med school friends. Saturday Mr. was hanging out with one of his classmates when he called me to go over there for dinner. He also asked me to bring his camera and our 2 cup measuring cup.
When I went over there, I discovered said classmate had recently invested in a home brewing kit and was going to start his first batch after dinner. Mr. helped, and I documented the whole thing with the camera. The process which should have taken 3 hours took roughly 5. The two medical students diligently made sure the proper materials were adequately sanitized and clearly had to pay close attention to the directions. The longest part of the process was waiting for the wert to cool to a temperature low enough to not kill the yeast. It was also the chilliest part as we had the A/C up high. Overall, it was a very cool and fun experience. Mr. got a text the next morning letting him know that the yeast was already hard at work.
The home brew will be ready by October!

Sunday evening, Mr. and I took a long train through Manhattan out to another outer-borough for an engagement party. We've known this couple since before they were a couple. In fact, I remember being confused when I first started to see them break off from the main group to be all cute and couple-like first year. Mr. had clearly neglected to tell me they were an item. Since then, though, they've become a staple couple in the class - two great people heading in the same direction together. He proposed to her on Sunday afternoon, then had a surprise engagement party waiting for her after she accepted. It's all very exciting, and I'm very happy for them. Mazel tov!

A Researcher's Dream

First, apologies for not posting this past week.  I was sick, busy, and caught up in everything going on in the news.  Can't.  Look.  Away.

Anyway, more on that later.  For now, I can't not share this tidbit that everyone probably already knows about already, but I've just discovered it and am way more excited than I should be.  On NYTimes.com, you can find articles from the early parts of the 20th century.  Perhaps even earlier, I don't know.  Many of them cost money, but some are free, such as this one from 1914, with the headline FASHIONS FOR SUMMER FROCKS HARK BACK TO 1870; Styles One May Buy in Paris at Small Prices --More Plaids Than Roman Stripes in Fashion Centre.

This may prove infinitely useful as I work on my research paper about Madame Grés for my online class.  The daughter of a librarian, I've been around microfilm and whatnot my entire life, but I never did master the art of researching the old fashioned way.  Putting everything online, even if they are pdf's, makes life so much easier.  As for how you find these wonderful windows to the past, if you search a word it will give you every article they have with that word, I believe... including articles from 1914. :)

ETA: They have articles as early as 1851, which I believe is their entire collection.  You can narrow down to search for only recent articles, though.