Making Time

Yesterday when I was out to lunch with a coworker, I told her about how it feels like Mr. and I are more like roommates at the moment. We talked about the issue and tried to best figure out what exactly I was feeling. Toward the end it just became about time. "We just have to find time," I remarked. She corrected, "no, you have to make time, because you're never going to find it."

I was then reminded of a passage I had selected for our wedding by C.S. Lewis.
...Love in this second sense -- love as distinct from 'being in love' -- is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit...
(The emphasis is mine).

It's hard for two independent and goal minded individuals to start new habits, particularly when there are so many distractions like work and school, especially medical school. Medical students barely have time for themselves, let alone for others, and I imagine it only gets worse as the training progresses. That's why making time is necessary, whether it means Mr. hangs out with me, talking or playing cards during his study breaks or I stay up an extra 15 minutes to pay attention to him.

It will be difficult to start making time. We both have a lot of stuff on our plates - a lot of stuff that is important to us. But I'm confident that if we put the effort in now, it will eventually become habit and stop being difficult.