Beware the Ides of March

This year, Black Monday fell on the date that has become synonymous with getting stabbed in the back, both literally and figuratively. Though most US MD students are breathing a sigh of relief today, there are inevitably some who feel they were betrayed by programs that didn't rank them high enough to match.

Fortunately, Mr. is not one of them. He matched in orthopaedic surgery. whew. I had been thinking up to this point that Match Thursday was bigger. I mean, Mr. was likely going to match and the Thursday is the day of the party and where we learn our next destination... but now I just feel so relieved. Where still totally matters, but not in the same way that it did a week ago.


03 days until Match Day
80 days until Mr.'s Graduation

Rank Order List Advice

On her blog, Marissa Nicole has discussed oh she and her husband have used their parents as a resource when creating their list. I think this is wonderful, but Mr. and I didn't opt to involve our parents much in the decision making. Part of this is because I already basically know the advice.

My parents are academic types. They actually met at a university that has a top tier law school, a top 10 business school, and one of the best music programs in the country. My dad was in law school, and my mom was in the music school. Through my college search when I was in high school, I learned that, in my father's opinion, it's not just about the name, but matching the offerings of the program with your own needs. I was in a rather unique program at NYU studying the entertainment industry - an industry that in the US only really exists in NYC and LA. When I considered switching my major to accounting, my dad said I should transfer back to an in-state school because his alma mater was just as good for less than half the price.
In short, my parents advice would be to go where he can get the best training. They'd love for us to be at the program closest to them, but not at the expense of his training.

Neither of my in-laws finished college, but my mother-in-law's father had a PhD from Princeton and moved the family frequently for work. She gets that the best opportunities aren't always in the same place, but she'd love for us to move closer to them and start giving her grandchildren.

So, who have we actually gone to for advice? Mr. has gone to various orthopedic surgeons in the area. For his independent study project requirement, an article on a specific orthopedic procedure, he's being overseen by a Spine attending with whom he has worked before. They have been in contact at least weekly since the fall. He received the specific advice that operating experience is paramount in determining rank order.

As for me, I've been talking to my boss a lot. I know it's often best to play your cards close to your chest, but I respect my boss too much to not keep her in the loop with everything. I plan to go to law school starting Fall 2011, and expect to be a slightly above average but not stellar applicant. My boss has advised to go to law school in cities where BigLaw exists if I want to do BigLaw. On our list, that would be New York, Chicago, or DC. (Ideally for her, we'd stay in New York, and I'd go to Fordham at night, continuing to work for her during the day.) While there are better schools in other cities on our list, they tend to train attorneys to work in those states, and the big firms don't necessarily look at mid-top-tier programs in smaller cities rural areas. I'm taking that to mean I will need to be aggressive in my job search, which I'm planning on being anyway.

In general, a lot of people have a lot of advice, but we've focused in to figure out what's legit and what we really want. I'm pretty happy with our list. I think it does well to look out for our oft conflicting interests. Should be interesting to see how it all plays out!


01 day until ROL is due
06 days until my LSAT score is back
20 days until Black Monday
23 days until Match Day!

The Rank Order List

It is one month until Match Day... one short month since it's February to March, so if you prefer to count things in weeks it's 4 of those or 28 days. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it!

Before Mr. can match anywhere, though, he has to submit his Rank Order List ("ROL"). As many of you know, this is the list of every program he wouldn't mind matching at of those where he interviewed. As I know not matching would be devastating to him, I've advised he rank all of them. Realistically, I imagine he'll match in his top 10, but you can't assume anything.

Mr. has had his #1 choice for a while, but lately we've been tweaking. Two days ago, he bumped what had been his #8 to #5. While this did bump one of my ideal cities down a spot, it also bumped my least favorite city down. Furthermore, I recently (as in, 14 hours ago) learned that my best friend is moving to the city we just moved to #5, so that makes it a very appealing move.

We've had to do a lot of balancing preferences. Mr., in support of my plans to pursue law, has lowered a program in loves in a city without a law school, and I've been less adamant about having to live in a big big city so that Mr. can rank programs that offer more operating experience. There are programs in less than ideal cities up there and programs with less OR time up there, but we've tried to work on ranking higher programs that have something in it for both of us.

I think our top 10 is now set. I like it; he likes it. In order for the Match to work properly, though, you must prefer each program over the next on the list. So, when Mr. showed me a printout of the current list, I asked if he could switch 11 and 12. While 11 does have slightly better weather and is closer to my family, it only has a 4th tier law school. 12 has a 2nd tier law school and is closer to cities with big firms. So, I think he is going to make the switch.

For more information on how the matching algorithm works, visit the NRMP website.


06 days until the ROL is due
11 days until I get my LSAT score
25 days until Black Monday
28 days until The Match!

Planning for the Unknown Part II

Mr. has chosen his #1 program and has notified them. But, he interviewed at 20 programs in 13 different cities, and we have to be prepared to end up at any of them.

If we move, we'll have 2 1/2 months to find a place to live, plan our move, and find a job for me. Except, On-Campus-Recruiting has begun, and fashion retail executive training programs are accepting applications now.

So, what can I do?

• Start checking out job prospects in the cities where Mr. interviewed.
• Apply to jobs where applicable... I just submitted an application today (wish me luck!)
• Research the real estate markets in the cities, keeping Mr.'s future salary for that city in mind.

...wait, where was I? I just found a luxury gated apartment complex in Mr.'s #1 city that looks amazing. Is it Match Day yet??


10 days until the ROL is due
15 days until I get my LSAT score
29 days until Black Monday
32 days until the Match!!

Planning for the Unknown

This spring will prove to be quite hectic. I have a trip to visit my parents this weekend, the LSAT in February, perhaps a trip with Mr. to go on second looks in mid-February, the match in March, potentially a post-match weekend getaway with Mr.'s classmates, my best friend's bridal shower and bachelorette party sometime in spring, Mr.'s graduation in early June (with family coming from all over to celebrate), my best friend's wedding, and finally the move in June. Whether Mr. matches in NYC or halfway across the country, we will be moving OUT of student housing!

However, notice that those plans end with June. Okay, so there's another wedding in August on the calendar, but for the most part, I haven't thought past 5 months out. My cousin's experience has taught me that with the match, you can plan on nothing. Okay, I take that back. If you only apply in one city, then I suppose you can assume you will be in that city. Otherwise, it's the great unknown.

Except, life can't be put on hold. Events are planned, favors are asked, and commitments are needed. So what do you do? What can you do?

This morning, while Mr. was at an interview in the city, I received an email from one of my ministers notifying me that I had been nominated to serve on a committee that would serve next winter. Without anything set with Mr.'s career, I said yes. Here's why:
I feel honored to have been nominated and would like to serve on the committee if I'm in New York next year. Since I may be in New York next year, may be able to serve and would like to be able to serve, I said yes.
"But you may NOT be in New York next winter!" you may proclaim. That is correct; I may not be. I may also be hit by a bus tomorrow. While these are not equally likely scenarios, they are both possible scenarios. At any moment, anything could happen that would prevent one from keeping a commitment.
So then the question of Good Faith comes up. I realize that can be a misleading phrase since I'm using a church commitment as an example, but Good Faith in contract terms basically means honest intentions. A person should make commitments in good faith that s/he will fulfill the obligations of that commitment. Obviously, my situation has a grey area. Naturally, I was honest. I explained the situation and stated that the nominating committee could change their minds without offending me. Instead, we're all taking a wait and see approach. If I can't serve on the committee, they will find someone else.

Don't keep yourself from signing up for things you would like to do because of the unknown. Be upfront and honest about the possibilities, but keep living life and taking opportunities you like. Because, really, what else can you do?


64 days until the Match...

Informal Pre-Interview Social Event

Mr. has been on three residency interviews so far, but last night was the first pre-interview social event to which spouses were invited. Luckily it was nearby, so I was able to attend!

Here's my take:

What to wear
With orthopedic surgery, I've found that most of the social events are in private rooms at sports bars, dive bars and breweries. They're obviously pretty casual, but it's still part of an interview. Last night, most people were in jeans. I was in a jersey-knit modal wrap dress, tights, and stilettos. I'm happy with my choice. While I was dressier than almost everyone else, it was still a pretty casual dress. Plus, I'd rather err on the side of over-dressed than under-dressed.
For women attending these events, though, I think the ideal outfit (if highs are 60 or colder) is a cute sweater dress, tights, and flat boots. It's very casual, very appropriate for a bar but still an acknowledgment that it is a networking event.
If you're not a dress person, fear not; trousers are appropriate (unless it's at a swanky venue... so far, that has not been the case for Mr.).

Who to talk to
Anyone! I had a great time last night talking to the other applicants and their significant others. However, you certainly want to talk to those in the program and their significant others.

What to ask about
I think it's good to ask the residents and their significant others about the lifestyle, the housing options, the city (if you don't already live there), and life in general. It's good to get a feel for how happy they are in their program and express your willingness to live in the city of that program.

Overall, have fun! Don't dance on any tables or wear lampshades, of course, but be yourself and help your spouse be him/herself. Have fun finding the right program for you.

Tag Team

As the interviews slowly trickle in, we have to become increasingly strategic in planning interview dates. The three highest priority programs are, of course, Mr.'s two away programs and his home program. So far he has heard from and scheduled interviews for one away and his home program. We have the interview dates for his other away, and one conflicts with the interview we have scheduled for his home program. It is imperative, then, that we schedule his interview from his other away (assuming he's offered one) for the date that doesn't conflict with his home program.
Not only does the day we want not conflict with Mr.'s already scheduled interview, but it also does not conflict with interviews from any other programs that we know of, so we expect it to be the popular choice among those invited. Therefore, Mr. must be in the first half of those who respond. It's an ugly, competitive process with a lot of people reaching for the same thing. It can be tricky, then, on days like today when Mr. has a shelf exam. He won't be able to check his email for 3 full hours, plenty of time for others to respond should he receive an offer.
That's where I come in. Having been some sort of assistant for years now, it is not out of character for me to draft someone else's correspondence or to reply to an invitation on behalf of someone else. So, at my desk job, I will keep constant watch on his email in order to pounce on an interview offer from his 2nd away, should he receive one.
Of course, there's that whole watched pot thing again, so who knows if my services will be needed anyway! Here's hoping we hear soon...

126 days until Match Day

A Watched Pot Never Boils

Mr. hates that saying. As a scientist, he finds it ridiculous. All else equal, the water will boil at the same rate whether it is watched or not.

Of course, that saying is all I could think of as I eagerly looked for news of interviews on Thursday only to learn Mr. didn't receive any that day. I was getting anxious and becoming distracted from work and school.

Yesterday, though, I couldn't afford to be distracted. Work was piling up, and if I didn't tackle it then, it would only get worse. Meanwhile, Mr. received 3 more interview offers. The first little gush after what had so far been only a trickle.

So, the lesson of the day is this:
Be prepared, have a calendar ready to know which date to choose if given a choice, and be ready. Put the proverbial water into the proverbial pot and turn on the proverbial stove. But after that, live your life, do what you need to do, and trust that the water will boil in time.

131 days until Match Day.

The Thank You Note

As I understand the world, it is common courtesy to write a Thank You note to anyone who takes time out of his/her schedule to interview you.
From the Emily Post Institute:
"At the end of the interview, stand, thank the interviewer for her time, look her in the eye and shake her hand. A short note of thanks—nothing fawning—is also appropriate. "

Of course, in medicine and the highly competitive world of residency applications, students do not want to miss any steps. I'm under the impression that it is very common to send thank you notes after residency interviews. Students debate between e-mail and snail mail, but I don't think that really matters. Mr. doesn't have the email addresses for those who interviewed him, so he plans to send letters. I think a hand-written note on nice stationery is more appropriate, but will that be feasible during what will hopefully be a busy season of interviewing in December and January?

I have never been on "the other side" of residency interviews. The closest experience I had was as an assistant to an attorney on the recruiting committee. She received thank you notes (handwritten cards), but most of the time she shrugged them off "he just doesn't have the grades" or "there are no openings". So, while I believe it is common courtesy to send a thank you note, I'm not convinced it truly makes that big of a difference.

Later in the process, I hear that many write "love letters" to programs. I don't even know what Mr. will do when he hears about that. I think he just likes to get stressed out about inconsequential things. 13 hour surgery? Very cool. 3 succinct but personal thank you notes? The world will end. Ultimately, he just wants to do a good job and be good at what he does. Schmoozing is not his thing... but does he need to do it in order to do what he wants?

133 days until Match Day.



Update: Mr. tells me the etiquette for residency interviews is different than any other type of interview. I'm skeptical. Perhaps he's referring to the "love letter" process that will happen later on?

Prep for Interview 1

Once upon a time (June, to be exact), all of our umbrellas broke. All were over a year old, a fair lifespan for an umbrella in NYC, most even older. So, Mr. decided he would buy a new umbrella, a really nice one. Still, when I came home, I was surprised to find he had spent $70 on a really nice big umbrella that is roughly 3' tall folded. While I remarked how nice it is, I also balked a little at how impractical it is. Personally I was just thinking of city use. I always carry my umbrella in my purse so that I'm always ready. Obviously a big umbrella won't fit. It also won't fit in a backpack or briefcase, which means Mr. has to plan to carry it when it might rain. He has to carry it in his hand - one whole hand, that's 50% of his holding capability! In a city where people don't drive, the ability to carry things is vital.
Mr. also bought me an umbrella on his trip - a basic black folded umbrella that fit in my purse. While nowhere near $70, the cost was still significantly more than drug-store or street umbrellas, so I expected it to be high quality and was glad to have something reliable in my purse.
June 2009 was a very rainy month in New York, and it rained the night before Mr. left for his away rotations. I remember because I had left my black umbrella open to dry by our front door (so I wouldn't forget to put it back in my purse). However, two days later as I waited for the M60 bus to LaGuardia (I was off to visit a friend for the 4th), it started to sprinkle. When I reached in my purse, extra stuffed with my laptop and my quart-size bag filled with 3 oz liquids, I discovered that my umbrella was not in there. It then started to pour. I tried to stand under a tree, which worked well when the rain was light but was little help when the sprinkle became a downpour. I was drenched. Once on the bus, I texted Mr. to lament how I'd forgotten my umbrella. As it turns out, he had taken it with him on his away rotations. "It was out". Yes, out, drying out where I'd have to trip on it before forgetting to put it back in my purse. Mr. had been afraid he wouldn't be able to take his big umbrella with him on the plane, so he took mine instead. As you can guess, I bought another umbrella while visiting my friend, one that fits in my purse, so I wouldn't have to go two months without.
Now Mr. is flying out today, and it is yet again rainy in New York. My new umbrella is safely tucked away in my purse and very girly. The black umbrella is in less than perfect condition but still, in my opinion, perfectly usable, particularly if it's just going to be used to and from a car as it would be on this trip. Mr. disagrees, so his first mission last night was to find out if he could take it with him. He'll have a suitcase, a briefcase and a large umbrella, all to carry-on. I imagine they'll let him through, but I'm still a little nervous he's risking losing a $70 umbrella to the TSA. We'll see how this goes.

Mr.'s second mission was figuring out what to wear. While on one hand I can appreciate fretting over such a thing, on the other, I have little sympathy for a man in this situation. I mean, nice shoes, suit, button-down shirt, tie. If this were me, the question would be dress, skirt suit, or pantsuit with a million different ways to accessorize each style. But I digress.
His favorite suit is a dark-grey pinstripe (pictured left), and his other is solid navy. He's wearing the pinstripe. Now for the shirt and tie. Somehow this turned into a process, but he ultimately decided on a white shirt and a patterned tie. It looks nice. I suppose the big debate was whether or not to wear a different colored shirt (he has a dark purple one from Express that looks amazing), but at least for the first few (assuming he gets more than this one, haha), he should play it safe with the white. If other people are having more fun with it, he can switch it up.
Hmm... I hope he knows about the sometimes, always, never rule of buttoning his suit jacket. I'll remind him.

Interview prep isn't all umbrellas and suits, though. Mr. has to do his research on the program as well. What's it known for, who the program director is, etc. etc. I printed off the program's AMA Freida profile, and I'm hoping he found the rest on the program's website and Google news.
Enough typing; time to send my MD-in-training off to his first residency interview!

140 Days until the match!

Another Item to Check Off the List!

Mr.'s dean's letter has been uploaded to ERAS! Though programs won't be able to access it until November 1 (or will it be November 2 because of the weekend? or does the entire field of medicine simply ignore weekends?), it's such a relief to know that it is up.

These last couple months have been kind of crazy. Mr. completed his residency application and submitted it to 52 orthopedic surgery programs and was also invited to become a member of AOA. He finished a radiology elective, took Step II CK, and is now doing an Ambulatory rotation while working on his Independent Study Project. I thought 4th year was supposed to be light?

Of those 52 programs, we've heard from 1 so far (more on that later). Very nerve-wracking as friends going into other specialties have nearly their entire winter set up. However, I understand it's common for orthopedic programs to wait until the dean's letter is up before offering interviews.

Mr. was given the opportunity to proof his dean's letter before it was submitted, and he seemed very happy at the kind words from his letter-writer. The letter also included the information about AOA and hopefully (though Mr. couldn't remember) the award he and one other student in his class won first year. Here's hoping the offers start rolling in next week!

As for the one program we have heard from thus far, he will be going there Friday! I'm excited to hear how it goes. I will not be joining him, but I'll be sure to get a full report to share.

141 days until Match Day.

Tips for 4th Year Part I

Mr. submitted ERAS yesterday! We're still early in the process, but here are some of my tips for those who will go through this in the future...

1. Prepare to spend an extra $10k or so for fourth year interviews, particularly if applying for a competitive specialty. Many do this with loans (as we are), but if you can avoid the loans, awesome!
2. Prepare to spend an additional $2k per away rotation for rent and additional food. You'll probably spend less, but if you plan for $2k per month, you should be safe. Note: if your med student is going away in the summer, this will likely be before fourth year loans come in. If you have an income, start saving. If you live entirely on loans, request a little extra for third year.
3. Make a list of programs to apply to in spring of third year. Find out what specific requirements they have. They won't all be the same. Look for:
1. Who they want letters from. Clinical faculty only? Someone not in the specialty? The head of the department? You can submit up to four letters, but as the different programs want letters from different people, you may need 5 or more letters.
2. Additional forms for letter writers. Some programs have their own cover-letter for letters of recommendation, so you need to have that before asking for letters.
3. Any additional exams.
4. Program-specific personal statements.
5. MCAT scores, SAT scores, and/or your undergraduate transcript.
6. Anything else they might think of to request...
   

That's it for now, but I'm sure I'll think of more later. Good luck, everyone!!

197 days until Match Day.

ERAS

Last night, Mr. got home from two months of away rotations. I kept myself very busy these past two months... apparently too busy to blog. :)

When Mr. came home last night, after a hug and a kiss, the first thing we did was sit down and take another look at the list of programs he'll apply to. We got rid of programs that would require those who wrote his recommendation to fill out a special form or were strictly 6-year programs. Since I'm thinking I might go back to school during residency (apparently I like to collect degrees), we also struck some of the more rural programs and added some from Boston, Detroit and Philly. I think we're at 53 programs and hope to whittle down to 50.

Tonight is the night to finish compiling everything as the first day to submit to ERAS is tomorrow.

We have to go through each program and make sure we're fulfilling special requests, such as undergraduate transcript or a program-specific personal statement. Then we'll carefully check the preferences for each program on ERAS to make sure everything is going to the correct place.

I know I always get a little nervous before sending an email at work to a large distribution group, even if it's just the attorney training department (with whom I often correspond). It's only more nerve-racking to send to attorneys, particularly partners. The more power a person has over your future, the more important it is to not screw up. And who could have more power of peoples' futures than the committees who review residency applications? With 50+ programs to comb through, I imagine tonight will be a lonnnnnng night...

199 days until Match Day.

Writing the Essay

No, my fellow fighting violets, I'm not talking about the required writing seminar at NYU that all freshman must take in some form or another. I'm referring to a little step in the residency application process known as the Personal Statement.

Though he's been talking about writing his first draft for the past few weeks, Mr. finally sat down last night and hammered out what turned out to be a nearly 800 word piece on how he came to choose orthopedic surgery. While I'm not sure if there is a specific word count, my cousin's statement (which received high praise) was just about 600 words long. Better too long for a first draft, so I feel this is a good start. Of course, after the edits I made to it this morning, it is now 2 words longer. Oops!

If I were the applicant, I think the personal statement would be one of my favorite elements. For one, I'd get to talk about myself, but more importantly I'd really use the opportunity to make those who read them see me as an individual and not merely a list of accomplishments. Mr., on the other hand, finds this element particularly stressful. It's rare for the personal statement to help you, but it can very easily hurt you. As an otherwise highly competitive candidate, Mr. primarily aims to "do no harm" with his statement but is nervous because he's not necessarily a strong writer...or so he thinks.

Upon listening to what Mr. tells me what he wants to say and then reading what he actually puts down on paper, it seems that he was taught ridiculous writing rules that are decent guidelines when first learning how to organize one's thoughts but very restricting parameters when attempting to be eloquent and eye-catching. As a result, my favorite phrases from his statement arose when he told me something and I responded, "write that down, just like you said it" and continued to insist despite his concerns that it wasn't the proper essay structure.

At this point, I imagine some of you are probably thinking, "Come on now, M. Your writing isn't exactly brilliant; where do you get off giving writing advice?" And that is certainly a fair point. My writing is not brilliant, but my reading is. At some point in almost all my jobs and internships, I have been assigned the task to read or proof things, not just for grammatical errors but for content and style as well. I once went through a pile of film scripts and was asked to discard any that weren't interesting after the first 10 pages or so. Another time I reworded descriptions of corporate event planning offerings in client presentations. As a legal secretary, I was often given the task of drafting correspondence to our clients or fixing the correspondence written by associates. Though I had many weaknesses as a producer, I'd like to think one of my strengths (as evidenced by the reviews and my other small successes) is piece selection. I know good work when I see it whether its intent is to entertain, to sell, or to simply just communicate. And though I often lack the talent to create good work from scratch, I truly enjoy tweaking rough drafts to help turn them into final, polished products.

So, this morning I took a look at Mr.'s first draft. I printed a copy and went to town with my pen. Then, I opened the Word doc, set the page to "track changes" and created a redline. After saving and printing the redline, I accepted all changes to give Mr. a clean draft with my edits. I'm sure there will be many more incarnations of Mr.'s personal statement. I don't even know if he'll accept any of my advice, but at the very least it's certainly fun to witness this creative work.

Photo by CPSutcliffe